Astrology, Life Purpose and My Conflicted Nature

Just a side note about my last entry, I’m sorry I got all preachy there. It’s my Sagittarian zealotry I guess? Yes, everyone else is making the world a bad place and I am a saint, right? Meh. So what good am I doing for the world at the moment? Not a whole lot.

So I usually hear positive things about my Zodiac sign. We Sagittarians are optimistic, lucky, philosophical, honest, etc. But I listened to a podcast where three different astrologers shared their thoughts on the traits of each Zodiac sign. One of the astrologers seemed particularly down on us Sagittarians. He made us sound like preachy “I’ve got to spread the good word” sort of people. He also said that Sagis had to have some mission or purpose or else they would be a bit tragic. So I definitely have that, “I need to spread the good word” nature, and it has definitely gotten me into trouble and annoyed those around me I think. So I have very much diminished my preaching. Don’t worry I won’t try to convert you or anything. Perhaps my zealotry leans more on the side of spreading health information and things like that. I also went through a very intense 911 phase that no one around me appreciated at all. Ha! But, yes, it was definitely an inside job. There I go.

Mr. Astrologer, well, his name is actually Austin Coppock, also said that when Sagittarians have Mercury in their sun sign they don’t do as well. Mercury is the sign of logic and critical thinking and please show me the evidence. So I want to “preach the good word”, but then I am always questioning if the “good word” is actually true. Is there any evidence proving that it actually is? What is the truth? Is this astrology stuff just a lot of disempowering hooey?

My birth chart seems to describe my personality traits quite accurately, so I’m delving deeper at the moment, trying to understand my lack of awesomeness. So Sagittarius is my sun sign, but I also have Mercury and Neptune in the sign of Sagittarius. So I just read a blurb about having Neptune in Sagittarius. Oh my goodness, it was a pretty accurate description. Maybe it’s the Neptune that is really messing me up? Some of what I see as my worst traits were very accurately described there. Maybe being a Sagittarian isn’t so great after all.

Anyway, what’s your sign? Drop me a note and let me know your sign or if you think this astrology stuff is a lot of hooey.

Thanks for stopping by and reading today’s blurb.

Ancestral Healing

I did this little ancestral healing ceremony as suggested by a spiritual lady on the YouTube. Ha. I don’t know if I feel like writing a whole lot about it at the moment. I’m still feeling sort of sad for my ancestral line? For the whole world?

We need to have more respect for the divinity of one another and the planet. Respect. Whatever your belief system – I think we can all acknowledge that a whole rather amazing set of circumstances resulted in your/my consciousness being focused in this one body on this one planet at this time. We are more than just meat suits. Our planet is more than just a resource ready for our exploitation.

Here is my little altar to the ancestors. I guess if someone recognizes me from these pictures, you were meant to find this. Namaste.

Narcissists Force You to Be Stronger – if they don’t destroy you. Yikes.

So I have a best friend who has been in an off again on again relationship with a narcissist since 2003. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I used to think most people were good, and even “evil” ones were capable of turning into good ones. I don’t necessarily believe that anymore. Over the course of trying to help my friend get away from this narcissist for the last 18 ish years, I came to realize that narcissists are not capable of change. That, of course, is my non-expert opinion, so do your own research and reach your own conclusions. You would probably only care about this topic if you had a narcissist in your life, so hopefully you have no interest in this topic.

I could go into a whole saga about her relationship with the narcissist, but frankly the whole thing leaves me nauseous. This man has already wasted so much of her time and emotional energy, not to mention that of everyone around her, myself included.

What dealing with a narcissist teaches you is that you must be mentally strong and have a backbone and believe in yourself, even when someone is telling you how worthless and crappy you are day after day. It is not an easy thing to do.

I guess I’ll be writing more on this topic as I go.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

Uncertain Times

Hello everyone!

I’m not feeling like sharing much about my life lately. There is too much cognitive dissonance going on.

What is the definition of cognitive dissonance?

According to Merriam-Webster: Cognitive dissonance definition is – psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously.

Is that really the phrase that I’m looking for?

I don’t really feel free to speak my mind about a lot of things anymore. Hmm.

At any rate, that’s how I’m feeling, sort of.

I hope this election goes off without tons of chaos and destruction.

Let’s make that a more positive statement.

This election will be conducted in an orderly and peaceful fashion and the best outcome for the greatest good will come to pass.

Honey Boy: Movies and Trauma Processing

The ability to express sentimentality in this blog in a way that truly conveys my feelings seems to elude me. But I will give it a shot anyway.

We watched the movie Honey Boy the other day. It is loosely based on the childhood experiences of the actor Shia LeBeouf. Shia’s father was an intense, dysfunctional alcoholic who pushed Shia very hard in his acting career.

Shia wrote the script for this movie as he worked through the trauma of his past during a court ordered stay in rehab. Despite the discouragement of many, Shia also chose to play the role of his own father in the movie. I didn’t realize that until I had finished watching the movie.

I just feel like there are so many dysfunctional programs running in the collective, playing themselves out over and over again. If we don’t acknowledge and confront them, they will never be healed.

So I offer up honor and reverence for those men who are willing to confront their demons in such a public way. I salute you. Thank you Mr. LeBeouf for being brave enough to make this movie.

The young actor who played Shia as a 12 year old, Noah Jupe, was also quite impressive.

The Turmoil of Men

So with the magic of sychronicity, considering the things that have been on my mind lately, two movies have come to my attention which bring into focus the trials and tribulations of the menfolk in our society. It’s easy to man bash these days, but I know I wouldn’t want to be a man. They are always demeaning and crapping on one another – it is just their way I guess. I know not all men are like this, just the ones I know? Also, societal and cultural norms are extra confusing for them these days it would seem. The times they are a changing. Father and son relationships are also often rather strained.

At any rate, I recently watched the movie “The King of Staten Island”. This is a coming of age story that is loosely, very loosely based on some of the experiences of the actor Pete Davidson. At the tender age of seven, Pete Davidson lost his father in the terrorist attacks on 911. This loss profoundly affected his life.

At any rate, the character he plays in the movie “The King of Staten Island” is struggling with the loss of his father, but 911 was not the cause of his father’s death in the movie.

If you like Judd Apatow movies and don’t mind a lot of references to smoking weed, then you might like this movie.

There is another movie that I recently watched called “Honey Boy”. But I think I will save that for a separate post because it definitely deserves it’s own blog post.

Here is a trailer for the movie.

Vintage Blog Post: What Happened at the Metaphysical Shop?

So below is a blog post that I wrote for my other blog, the one I made private, back in 2017. My mindset is somewhat different now, but also somewhat the same, I am still skeptical, but becoming less so I suppose.

This blog post was originally written in May of 2017.

Yes, this is me being too lazy to write new content. Writing blog posts that are somewhat decent or entertaining takes me forever.

Start of old blog post:

So earlier in 2016 I was having some strange experiences with what I eventually figured out was kundalini energy? Say what? Yeah, I didn’t know what was going on. I’m not even going to try to explain what that is to you. It was weird.

So I wound up at a metaphysical shop looking for some answers. Yes, I am skeptical of this stuff, crystals and psychics and tarot, but I figured what the heck. My crisis wasn’t going away by itself.

The lady who ran the shop was very nice and seemed ethical. She had two children who would hang out in the shop. Her daughter was a teenager who really enjoyed the metaphysical shop lifestyle. The daughter said that she was psychic. The mother did counseling sessions and crystal healing sessions. I don’t want to give any opinion on that. I can’t say if it’s legitimate or not. I will leave it at that. They also sold crystals in the shop along with other various metaphysical things.

So there was another lady in the shop who would have group meetings to help people develop their psychic powers. She invited me to one of these meetings. I figured why not? I’ll try anything once. Well, not anything, but I’m open to trying outside the box sort of things.

So this meeting had about 15 people attending, mostly middle aged and older women. The leader of the meeting called it a crystal skull channeling session. Say what? I feel a little embarrassed writing about this. It sounds silly doesn’t it? Life is weird. There is so much that we don’t understand.

So anyway, at this session, the participants were supposed to feel into the energy of the other participants and share their observations and experiences. I gathered that most of them had attended these types of sessions before and were aware of the protocol. I felt a little lost as a newcomer. Most of the people there had small crystal skulls with them that I’m assuming were supposed to help them channel energy.

So, crystal skulls, it was luckily something that I was familiar with and had read about in a metaphysical book. The group leader didn’t really explain much about it before the meeting. From what I remember, crystal skulls were used after civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic event. Apparently there was no longer a communication infrastructure between far away places and cities could communicate with one another through the skulls. I think there is some extraterrestrial component as well. I am confusing myself now. You guys all saw that Indiana Jones movie right? Yes, don’t come to this blog for informative research. I don’t think anyone really knows if this is true or not anyway.

So what is the point of this story? Right, getting there.

So during the session, someone would sit in a chair in the middle of the group. There was a large crystal place under their chair to amplify their energy I guess. The other participants in the group would focus in and feel into their energy. So other people in the group were getting vivid images and describing interesting visions. I was not really picking up anything. They would come around to me and ask me what my impressions were and I would come up blank. I felt like this was going to be yet another long evening of being the misfit in a group of what seemed like misfits.

But finally I really focused in and tried to feel into these people’s energy. I felt like I was sort of sending out my energy into theirs. And then I started to feel emotions – deep sadness – like I wanted to cry for a few of these people – and for a lot of them I would feel pain in certain parts of my body. Wha?

So that night I was told that I was an intuitive empath. It was actually something that I was told before by another psychic about 8 years ago, but I just sort of dismissed it back then.

So there are a lot of different directions that I could go from here. What exactly is an intuitive empath? You know I have never actually found a formal definition. This is a big topic.

My future blog posts will discuss this more. Thank you for reading.

Emotional Progress

I haven’t made much progress on the goal.  I think I keep picking the wrong goal because I am stuck in a place full of conflicted feelings about what I should be doing with my life.

I have been making mental/emotional progress of sorts which eventually may help with getting clarity on the goal.

I probably should get some outside help but hmm…where to go?  Just someone to help me figure stuff out?

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I hope everyone is dealing with the covid and the riots and keeping calm.  This too shall pass.