I Am an Enneagram Type 5

If you are also a type 5 you likely landed on this site because you were looking for information about type 5s. So I watched this YouTube video a while back and was a bit, hmm, disconcerted by it? Fr. Richard Rohr doesn’t seem to have the most favorable view of the Enneagram type 5. I have to agree with a lot of the things that he says about us type 5s, but not all of them, at least as far as my personality and interests are concerned. At any rate, I decided to watch his video and take notes, because that’s what we type 5s do, gather lots of information. And for some reason I totally love taking notes. I was even trying to become a court reporter at one point, which sounds like the ultimate job for a type 5 – objective observer. But if you’re a type 5 you’ve probably already seen this video? Anyway, perhaps seeing it in written form will prove helpful in some way. My notes are a bit crude but hopefully you can figure out most of what I’m trying to say.

How does Fr. Rohr see the Enneagram Type 5???

  • Absent minded professors
  • Live whole life behind poker eyes with compulsive observation of the data
  • Can never get enough data – always more to be known
  • Very few 5s beyond the age of 20 without glasses
  • Take in any kind of ideology description etc
  • Sit in the back of the room – never want to sit in the front – too much energy up there
  • Very controlled – like to control themselves
  • Don’t want to be observed – but like to observe
  • Just want to gather information – they have a compulsion to know
  • Level of soul – too much heat in the kitchen – going into my head – live in my head
  • EX) Level 5s would always try to get a room on the 3rd floor in the corner – the farthest away from everyone that they could get
  • Like to live alone, natural hermits, natural celibates – sexual encounters are too emotional, sexual engagement is too engaging
  • Don’t have a strong need compared to the rest of people for sexual encounters -“I’d rather maintain myself and maintain my boundaries”
  • They are always maintaining their boundaries and they overdo it
  • Spirit animal – barn owl – big wide owl eyes watching you from the corner of the barn
  • From all of their watching they come up with universal theories – many philosophers were type 5s – theories explain everything
  • This way I don’t have to emotionally engage with people/life/naked bodies – I’ll just think my way through life – plan my way through life – organize my way in a mental sense through life
  • They sever the connections as much as they can with everything and everybody
  • Can become loners and dangerous people if they don’t have some healthy community and some healthy relationship in their life
  • There is no reference point for them – there is no outer critic
  • FLIPSIDE: – sometimes when they start telling you their theories – they won’t shut up, keep talking until people are annoyed – they have been living too long inside of their head and need to tell someone about their universal field theory
  • Because they have cut themselves off from human relationship – 2s 3s and 4s know how to read people’s eyes when they are bored with you, 5s don’t read eyes, they just keep talking
  • Classic college professors with permission to stand behind a pulpit and just talk ad nauseum
  • Fives can be very boring because they have have no reality check for the meaningfulness of their ideas or the helpfulness of their ideas
  • Their ideas just bounce back and forth inside their minds – brilliant in some ways but stupid unless he/she connects with his/her 4 wing and gets his heart and his sensitivity in shape
  • 5 is the typical boring professor – has nothing to say but sometimes does have something to say – but you have to wait around for the second semester before you’ll hear it – first semester is just build up to 2nd semester
  • You will be subjected to their internal monologue
  • Stingy – not for money – stingy for information – they love books – they give them a rush of excitement – they love their books and their ideas
  • Don’t spend a lot of money on themselves – except for books
  • Most common phrase they say after you talk – “that’s interesting” – a noncommittal statement – good interesting or bad interesting? They have to think more about it.
  • Have a hard time making commitments. They are so withheld – requires a certain degree of emotional engagement with the other
  • Don’t always want to engage with other’s ideas or relationship
  • Positive side: if you need a good objective counselor – get a 5
  • If you want power behind the thrown – someone who can give you an objective detached viewpoint – they are usually right in their analysis
  • Detachment is their sin and is also their gift – it’s the only number – you can use the same word for both their sin and their gift
  • Detachment is a virtue when you need objectivity and calm evaluation – that’s probably why they make more objective philosophers, engineers, librarians
  • Thank God for 5s who will be comfortable sitting in the back office – they love computers – they are addicted to computers
  • Instead of a wife – they have a computer and I can just relate to this nonstop
  • Many of his best advisors have been 5s and especially in difficult, demanding situations where everybody is taking sides and everybody is throwing around blame and making it totally good or totally bad – 5 can very often see it objectively precisely because of their withheld-ness
  • He is told that the 5 feels empty – and the information is an endless attempt to filll up that emptiness – some have described a great big hole – that is their primordial soul experience – there is nothing there
  • They don’t have a lot of need for personal feedback – we all need people to love us and to like us – but they live in their heads
  • They can do without people the most
  • Speaking of marriages – he’s probably met more 2 and 5 marriages than he would ever expect – it’s a classic example of marrying your exact opposite – 2 is the compulsive giver – giving for the wrong reasons – but still giving. But the 5 is the compulsive taker. Natural attraction when young – he’s calm and collected and she’s bubbly and fun. Woman is 2 and man is 5. This works for about 3 years.
  • But then all marriages face the shadow at a certain point – 5 starts wondering when you’re going to just let me stay at home and avoid parties, etc. She starts to resent him because he just wants to stay home all the time and she wants to interact with others. People are often attracted to their opposites.
  • What country represents the 5? He uses Scotland – the stingy Scotsman and the aloof Anglo Saxon gentleman. Also the UK – the English and the Scots – that stiff upper lip stuff that we like to make fun of from the English. Intellectualism, superiority complex, etc. Public image of being reserved and standing back from.
  • 5s need to pull back – find my own ground – my own understanding and perhaps re-enter. Far too often they stay in the withdrawn position
  • They are classic avoiders
  • Buddhism is very 5ish – makes an art form out of detachment and observation
  • Christian religion – is more from the 2 space – a naked bleeding man on a cross – that’s the compassionate lover – Sufi’s did call Jesus a 2 – great perfect lover who loved sacrificially for the right reasons.
  • When they find the freedom to give it out before they have taken it in – instead of collecting energy – once in a while take a risk and give energy before they take it from you – then you know they are growing up
  • When they can get involved in various forms of volunteerism – he knew one who became a massage therapist – this is very much acting against the 5 nature – touching other bodies and serving other bodies – she learned how to balance herself out – that was a heavy price for her to be – not her natural mode to be massaging other people’s bodies. It took a major giving a major risk taking. A major moving against the withholding and the collecting instinct.
  • When you are around unhealthy 5 – you may feel like you’re having your energy drained – they will wear you out after spending 15 minutes in a room with someone – they are always wanting
  • Maybe that’s what he feels because he is a knowledgeable person – so 5 want more knowledge from him – 5 and the 6 are questioners – that’s one shape they can take
  • Animal that may represent – the burrowing fox – spends most of day in its burrow – looks out to see if there is any risk or threat – if no emotional risk or emotional threat – then they will come out
  • Some say that 5 lives their entire life behind a one way mirror – they can look out – but you can’t look back at them – if you say the word share – they will head for the quickest door – especially hate sharing feelings
  • Don’t like touching – they are not tactile people
  • They are objective people that somehow ground the flights of fancy and the flights of emotion that many of the rest of us can get lost in

  • There is a big space between the 4 and the 5 on the enneagram. If you can bridge the distance between being fully in your heart and fully in your head. Balanced – difficult.

I am wondering if I should try to connect with more type 5s? I don’t think I know any other type 5s. We are not known for being very social. But then are we all so hopelessly lost in our ideas and theories that it’s impossible for us to connect to one another. What do you think? Leave me a comment so I can feel like I still exist.

Happy Holidays! and a Five Year Plan?

I think about writing in here but then I realize I don’t really want to share much about myself lately. Hmm…I turned 45 this month. In 15 years I’ll be 60.

So I’m thinking I need a 5-year plan. Jordan Peterson says I need a 5-year plan. He has a “Self Authoring” program online that you can pay for. But, yikes, so many things to sort out in my mind to create a 5 year plan that is in alignment with what I believe and who I want to be. And what do I really believe?

Question everything. That’s what Socrates did, and of course they poisoned him for it. He scared the crap out of those elites.

I hope everyone has something good or at least something not terrible going on for the holidays. This blog seems to get a hit or two every day despite my neglect.

What direction should I take it in for 2021?

*Giving a big warm virtual hug to anyone out there who needs one*

Uncertain Times

Hello everyone!

I’m not feeling like sharing much about my life lately. There is too much cognitive dissonance going on.

What is the definition of cognitive dissonance?

According to Merriam-Webster: Cognitive dissonance definition is – psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously.

Is that really the phrase that I’m looking for?

I don’t really feel free to speak my mind about a lot of things anymore. Hmm.

At any rate, that’s how I’m feeling, sort of.

I hope this election goes off without tons of chaos and destruction.

Let’s make that a more positive statement.

This election will be conducted in an orderly and peaceful fashion and the best outcome for the greatest good will come to pass.

Honey Boy: Movies and Trauma Processing

The ability to express sentimentality in this blog in a way that truly conveys my feelings seems to elude me. But I will give it a shot anyway.

We watched the movie Honey Boy the other day. It is loosely based on the childhood experiences of the actor Shia LeBeouf. Shia’s father was an intense, dysfunctional alcoholic who pushed Shia very hard in his acting career.

Shia wrote the script for this movie as he worked through the trauma of his past during a court ordered stay in rehab. Despite the discouragement of many, Shia also chose to play the role of his own father in the movie. I didn’t realize that until I had finished watching the movie.

I just feel like there are so many dysfunctional programs running in the collective, playing themselves out over and over again. If we don’t acknowledge and confront them, they will never be healed.

So I offer up honor and reverence for those men who are willing to confront their demons in such a public way. I salute you. Thank you Mr. LeBeouf for being brave enough to make this movie.

The young actor who played Shia as a 12 year old, Noah Jupe, was also quite impressive.

The Turmoil of Men

So with the magic of sychronicity, considering the things that have been on my mind lately, two movies have come to my attention which bring into focus the trials and tribulations of the menfolk in our society. It’s easy to man bash these days, but I know I wouldn’t want to be a man. They are always demeaning and crapping on one another – it is just their way I guess. I know not all men are like this, just the ones I know? Also, societal and cultural norms are extra confusing for them these days it would seem. The times they are a changing. Father and son relationships are also often rather strained.

At any rate, I recently watched the movie “The King of Staten Island”. This is a coming of age story that is loosely, very loosely based on some of the experiences of the actor Pete Davidson. At the tender age of seven, Pete Davidson lost his father in the terrorist attacks on 911. This loss profoundly affected his life.

At any rate, the character he plays in the movie “The King of Staten Island” is struggling with the loss of his father, but 911 was not the cause of his father’s death in the movie.

If you like Judd Apatow movies and don’t mind a lot of references to smoking weed, then you might like this movie.

There is another movie that I recently watched called “Honey Boy”. But I think I will save that for a separate post because it definitely deserves it’s own blog post.

Here is a trailer for the movie.

Vintage Blog Post: What Happened at the Metaphysical Shop?

So below is a blog post that I wrote for my other blog, the one I made private, back in 2017. My mindset is somewhat different now, but also somewhat the same, I am still skeptical, but becoming less so I suppose.

This blog post was originally written in May of 2017.

Yes, this is me being too lazy to write new content. Writing blog posts that are somewhat decent or entertaining takes me forever.

Start of old blog post:

So earlier in 2016 I was having some strange experiences with what I eventually figured out was kundalini energy? Say what? Yeah, I didn’t know what was going on. I’m not even going to try to explain what that is to you. It was weird.

So I wound up at a metaphysical shop looking for some answers. Yes, I am skeptical of this stuff, crystals and psychics and tarot, but I figured what the heck. My crisis wasn’t going away by itself.

The lady who ran the shop was very nice and seemed ethical. She had two children who would hang out in the shop. Her daughter was a teenager who really enjoyed the metaphysical shop lifestyle. The daughter said that she was psychic. The mother did counseling sessions and crystal healing sessions. I don’t want to give any opinion on that. I can’t say if it’s legitimate or not. I will leave it at that. They also sold crystals in the shop along with other various metaphysical things.

So there was another lady in the shop who would have group meetings to help people develop their psychic powers. She invited me to one of these meetings. I figured why not? I’ll try anything once. Well, not anything, but I’m open to trying outside the box sort of things.

So this meeting had about 15 people attending, mostly middle aged and older women. The leader of the meeting called it a crystal skull channeling session. Say what? I feel a little embarrassed writing about this. It sounds silly doesn’t it? Life is weird. There is so much that we don’t understand.

So anyway, at this session, the participants were supposed to feel into the energy of the other participants and share their observations and experiences. I gathered that most of them had attended these types of sessions before and were aware of the protocol. I felt a little lost as a newcomer. Most of the people there had small crystal skulls with them that I’m assuming were supposed to help them channel energy.

So, crystal skulls, it was luckily something that I was familiar with and had read about in a metaphysical book. The group leader didn’t really explain much about it before the meeting. From what I remember, crystal skulls were used after civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic event. Apparently there was no longer a communication infrastructure between far away places and cities could communicate with one another through the skulls. I think there is some extraterrestrial component as well. I am confusing myself now. You guys all saw that Indiana Jones movie right? Yes, don’t come to this blog for informative research. I don’t think anyone really knows if this is true or not anyway.

So what is the point of this story? Right, getting there.

So during the session, someone would sit in a chair in the middle of the group. There was a large crystal place under their chair to amplify their energy I guess. The other participants in the group would focus in and feel into their energy. So other people in the group were getting vivid images and describing interesting visions. I was not really picking up anything. They would come around to me and ask me what my impressions were and I would come up blank. I felt like this was going to be yet another long evening of being the misfit in a group of what seemed like misfits.

But finally I really focused in and tried to feel into these people’s energy. I felt like I was sort of sending out my energy into theirs. And then I started to feel emotions – deep sadness – like I wanted to cry for a few of these people – and for a lot of them I would feel pain in certain parts of my body. Wha?

So that night I was told that I was an intuitive empath. It was actually something that I was told before by another psychic about 8 years ago, but I just sort of dismissed it back then.

So there are a lot of different directions that I could go from here. What exactly is an intuitive empath? You know I have never actually found a formal definition. This is a big topic.

My future blog posts will discuss this more. Thank you for reading.

Emotional Progress

I haven’t made much progress on the goal.  I think I keep picking the wrong goal because I am stuck in a place full of conflicted feelings about what I should be doing with my life.

I have been making mental/emotional progress of sorts which eventually may help with getting clarity on the goal.

I probably should get some outside help but hmm…where to go?  Just someone to help me figure stuff out?

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I hope everyone is dealing with the covid and the riots and keeping calm.  This too shall pass.


Tentative Goal and Kitty Update

So I have a tentative goal.   It’s one that I have had before and not fallen through with so I’m not so sure about it.  I’m not ready to share it yet.  I still might change my mind.  I have other more boring goals related to health and diet and other such boring things but who really cares about those?  Maybe I’ll share them later?

In other news – the small cat that we found in the bottom of our barbecue has integrated nicely into our kitty community.  He has been the most friendly with our lonely fat cat – who is the most tolerant of his occasional attacks.  Anyway, here is a repeat picture of when we first found Tuxedo Barbacoo (can’t seem to settle on a name)


And here he is with his friend Scooter AKA Boybun